Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Scrambling and Pearls

Remember when, a few months after Madelyn was born, I changed the name of my blog because life had settled down? "[Family] Scrambling" didn't feel relevant anymore. We had a house, we had a baby, we were living a normal, peaceful life. "Simple Pearls" represented the quiet, uneventful but good days that we expected to continue for a while. Finally I had found a routine that helped me maintain a pleasant ordinariness. I had settled comfortably into my home. Ah, well. Maybe "pearls" and "scrambling" coexist more often than written accounts generally illustrate.

I realize when I write that life is complex. How do I describe the last few weeks? If I gave a blow-by-blow account of significant events, the months of June and July might seem terribly hectic. And to be fair, sometimes I feel like I'm "scrambling" more right now than I have in years! But an account of significant events crowds out the many moments of routine, happy, day-to-day existence. It's hard to represent both in an account like this.

For example, I spent an hour this afternoon scrubbing down the shower in the hall bathroom. It felt good - a physical process culminating in instant, visible, satisfying results. The thing is, I wasn't scrubbing the shower to bless my family; I was scrubbing the shower to bless another family. The shower curtain is off the rod and folded in a box. The pictures are off the wall, the cupboards are bare. Because shockingly, suddenly, David and I are counting the time left in this house by hours instead of by years.

Two weeks ago today Dave received a job offer in Salt Lake City, Utah. The next day he received another one, also in Salt Lake. After long hours of discussion, we decided to accept one of the offers. We have spent the last two weeks planning, packing our possessions, cleaning our home, clearing the weeds in our yard, researching renting laws and protocol, spending quality time with friends in the area, finishing projects at work, and saying goodbye. At the same time, we have also been preparing for the trip to England we had already planned (it's time to graduate, now, a year after my thesis was due). Tomorrow morning we fly to England. The day after we return we load the truck, finish cleaning, and hand the keys off to the family who will be renting our home.

The busy minutes of the last few weeks have helped me stay focused and energetic. The quiet minutes - because those have occurred too - are harder. I love my home and am weepy every time I think of leaving it. I regret the lost potential; Dave and I had envisioned citrus trees in the backyard and flowers in the front. We had envisioned playing our first game of kickball with a little toddler in the backyard. We had had some nice conversations with our neighbors and looked forward to getting to know them better.

I will miss our friends here. My mom says that every time she moved during her married life, she cried when she came someplace new and she cried when she left. So far, that has proved true for me too.

But the boxes are packed and it's time to move on. So here we go, scrambling again.


Dave said...

Incidentally, Amy has been a packing champ. I am very thankful.

Stacie said...

oh you are coming to Utah! I live in Midvale..it'd be fun to get together sometime!

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